The pictures of the snowy landscapes on the phone, the photos taken by someone else somewhere in that beautiful land. Covered with snow.
But no, being far from that snow right now. More like in urban jungle of endless buildings, construction, traffic and planes overhead.
Going somewhere with snowy land, trees covered in snow, ice over the lakes, frost on the windows – quite the dream. Frustration overtakes.
It’s great that I’m, as a young woman, with drive for business and entrepreneurship, is in a pickle of being absolutely not motivated. The biggest poop of lack of motivation is the absence of the person that’s so darn needed. Also – the keeper of my sanity and guardian, carer and advisory – my beloved person.
There is this big battle inside of being with a wish to crack on with work and business, yet due to my dear not being with me – I am more battling frustration and exhaustion, than focusing on anything in particular.
This is already the pit of reality I face – I wish to just drop it all, once again and just go. But my inner voice is not so easy to succumb to this “decision”. My inner self is way too stubborn to be in this “lacking” state again.
It’s when I am on the verge of exploding and yelling and trashing all – due to being idle. I hate being unable to make something. I need to be making progress, creating opportunities, work, something! Also, there is no way in hell – that I, with my dire wish to create own business, will just give up. Hell no! I have way too much of an inner fire that burns hot about the need of own business – so I can help others, so I can give back.
Now I crave some snow. In this sunny and wet country with no colds in this particular city, I crave snow.
I wish to go and relax, to look at the snow falling, have some time in bed, in covers, just having the time of watching the movie alongside the man I love, have some hot coffee and really sweet cake.
I want to see the snow flakes fall, now it all makes world crammed in stillness, silence. And just snow. Simply falling snow. Just calm stillness. A moment in time that’s savoured.
Guess that’s the moment when I wish to stop and have some time off from everything.