The Musings of the Day
(aka the prequel to the “Have to go” topic)
Guess there are times when you truly get too tired and just leave it all.
Not that I’m giving up. I just need to take a break. Proper break.
Before getting up again and plunging into really hard work once more.
Right now it is just inconsistent – as my most precious other person who helps is not with me, but rather miles away, which is daunting.
I do get it – I should push, instead of pulling back, but right now – in this moment, I think it’s best for me to pull back. So that I’ll be able to go against more horrid tides when they plunge against my determination.
Great to see that the great weather of London is improving, but not that I’d be happy to leave. I’ll miss this crazy pot of brewing mess and madness.
Most likely due to fact that with all it’s insanity – it’s really really beautiful. Like Glamorous Gore. (Yes, YouTube channel did make a pun in this one! And I love Glam&Gore channel! You’re the best!)
Also witnessed the oddity of my Instagram suddenly becoming swarmed with new subs – I am happy, yes, but I am still so surprised that I question the likeability of own posts.
Don’t we all have this moment when we are really tired of the buzz and madness and just are ready to go and have some rest from all of it.
I assume that all this madness of a whirl made me get again – overwhelmed by all simultaneously, which ead to me once again – being all tangled up in endless ideas and plans and procrastinating until there is no more wish to do what needs to be done. Quite sad, really.
And also, due to that happening is to “blame” a little bit, the lack of the person next to me that does put all my mad ideas in order – Alex.
He’s like my dear guardian angel – that kicks my overboard-hype in the bum, sometimes – because I have to start with one and then move on, not to try and get all and together and at the same time – which is plain insanity, that drives my mind in all these different sides and lets no room for thought that would logically give perspective.
Aka – my hype is contagious, my hype is really destructive, it’s also very distracting, absorbing and then blows in my face to leave me exhausted and incapable of doing anything. (Input sad face emoji)
Wll, that’s why I really declare this battle partly on hold. Whilst I go off into the other sea for parley to figure the options out. Then grab the great adversary and drag his hiney with me to the journey of a life.
Perhaps we’ll be on a new start of creating new world!
*Side note – on 7th FEB – I’ll be off from UK for a bit*