“In Fish Bed” [poetry]

Fingers feel my skin, as I grab own throat
Hard to breathe, like lungs filled with smog
Grabbing hold tighter round
Choking until heartbeat’s only sound

Then it blurrs, it all fades away
I release my hands, eyes wandering – they may
Deep breath, I finally can breathe
Although unable to filter all filth

Room is like means to surrender
They say I’m “caved”, but it’s empty slander
Can’t stand their foul mouths spitting lies
And how quickly it burns once one denies

Any other opinion, fact or idea
The shit-storm that follows is like diarrhea
They turn to me lastly to ask to pick side
It’s never enough just for THEM to decide

My favourite succulents always are happy
Just water them, give sun, what green and fine chappy
Why don’t others make selves likewise?
Why brewing storm, leading to own demise?

Eyes closed, bath filled with water
Inside, deep, warm and nothing could matter
The silence and freedom of my own head
Comfort, soothing love in Fish Bed

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