“.conversation.” [short story]

– Hey, can you sleep?
– No. And you?
– Can’t manage either. What are you thinking?
– What would I not be thinking of?
– Mmm… White frogs?
– What? Why white frogs?
– Well, that you did not think of.
– Mmm…yeah, you got a point.
– So?
– I can’t seem to be having shit under control.
– Right now most of us struggle with that.
– Ehh…
– Come on. It’s not so… Em, ok. What’s bothering you?
– The work thing. Can’t seem to be alright with waiting.. It’s so annoying when you have to be waiting. And the worst part – you don’t know how it will go. Nor you know if the reply will come. It’s turmoil of anxiety and fear of not knowing anything. Not being able to push it to be.
– I get you. I get you. It’s hard. I know it is. It would be better to be certain, but that’s not always how it works, does it? Worrying about what you cannot be changing or in charge of – is waste of effort. Or nerves. Maybe there is something you can do?
– Besides crying fits and eating? Or besides trying to make it and being lost?
– Not sure I’d say either or both.
– Tsk…
– Wait, wait. So… Answer will come soon. Very soon. Why don’t you just plan out the victory jiggy once that commences?
– Pfft. Jiggy… I mean…
– No, but seriously. Don’t think about what’s and if’s. Maybe you just need to enjoy the little moments of own thing… Like – doing what you like, or hobby?
– You mean drown in books and alcohol?
– That’s one of the ways. But that’s just kind of sad. Especially without the company.
– You’re here.
– Well, that I am. But that’s not what I’m on about. What about just relaxing?
– I can’t seem to relax.
– Getting ducks in row?
– More like squirrels thrown into a rave party. But where am I gonna get ducks?
– Geez! That’s besides the point! Wait, squirrels at a rave? Just where have you…? Oh my… Never mind. What I am trying to say is that maybe, just maybe, keeping on doing what makes you all happy – would be a good thing, m?
– Hm… That… . . . Besides the endless and great, pointless and mad… The thing that I wanna do and do – that’s ok. Good even. But like…. There’s a thing about the thing. You know what’s it about.
– Ehh… Yeah. That I do.
– And that’s a quest. A quest that is not so fast done. Like… Not that fast made. But I really want it.
– You sound like an addict. You know that?
– Yes, that’s my point about it. But I do crave it.
– Yeah, I know. You’re like a stoner that needs munchies, when it comes to that.
– Stoner?
– Never mind. But then, maybe some good reads?
– Maybe booze and…
– No! No black jack and hookers. You’re not that much of an animal. Besides, too broke for that right now.
– Pff. How heartless.
– Eii… Not the point.
– But again, it feels like trying to figure out people is a mess. Trying to control what’s out of control is a mess. Truing to work is seemingly like a mess.
– But that’s the point – it’s not a mess. It’s quite straight forward. And plain as a pancake.
– Mmm, pancake.
– Dude! Listen!
– I am, I am.
– Just keep moving. Move. Screw all that’s trying to mess with you. Just one little step at a time. As long as you move. Just keep it going. Move.
– You sound like a coach now…
– Eh, the things you know…
– By the way…
– M?
– Good night…
– Good night…
– … and thanks.

photo by : https://boohwanj.tumblr.com/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s