The whole of the situation we got in was plain and simple.
I found you once the rain hit heavy on the town and made me go and hide in park, right at the new sitting spot. And I truly thought that I was alone. But no, there you were.
I did not really pay attention to you, as you sat there. I just turned around and watched the rain fall.
When was the last time I saw the rain, well, observed the rain…? It were long ago.
Or is it me who forgot how it felt?
With seasons changing and the feelings mixed, it was greatly hard to get out of the hibernation that the body had during lengthy winter season. The spring seemed to boil down to work-work-work and travel-travel-travel and then it was busy, from how it felt, and it lead to now.
Rain, muffled sounds of cars on the roads. As the road is quite a distance away.
And then what? Well, it was just that I had that scent of freshness in the nostrils waffling, the birds occasional chirping was reaching ears. Time felt to be stopped.
It stopped. The ongoing battles, the work, the struggles, the busy – all evaporated. Beaten into the ground with the raindrops and flushed away.
All that madness that was a part of me – went draining down into earth. With patter of rain.
What can you remember from that day? Well, besides me joining in your moment of serene escape. Guess, maybe you did remember…
How we met during spring time, as you have been there to praise the work I have made during this time. You were eager to make more with it, to work with me, to succumb into the fantasy I’ve built. I was dearly surprised. Actually, greatly in shock. Not many before had such enthusiasm to go on and grab my hands, to be looking me in the eyes with that dazzling amount of energy and praise, adore, celebrate my work so much. I was dumbstruck.
You did make space for me. As I was standing, with time bent in moment to just be. I was there, eyes closed, listening to the patter of rain.
“I think it will last.” – You softly spoke out.
“I guess it will.” – I let out, in a tone that’s softer, than expected.
You approached me.
The rain picked up the force.
I took a deep breath.
“Um, I was wondering… What drove you to write that piece?” – Your voice got closer, as you came closer to sit on a bench next to me.
“It was duality. It was how people see things. How they feel things. Express emotions, turmoil. How they’re driven mad, helpless, insane. How they can be cornered in life or in their mind. And how that plays the trick of flipping a coin to the side and being that other half. Not all consists of mere beauty and greatness. There’s the darkness lurking behind the veil. It was odd, yet interesting to make it. To put own emotions inside of it. To transcribe pain, as if my own pain, to the paper, to the manuscript. To the reader.” – I just watched the rain.
It took a bit, a moment, for you to speak again.
“You do have a dark side.”
“I never said that I don’t.” – I replied.
“Hm, you’re right. You never did.” – I heard you smirk. – “Just like you never showed any weakness.”
“Hm…” – I felt poked in my gut, with a prying emotion. – “It’s not that I’m not weak, or that I’m hell bent on being strong.” – I began. – “I just don’t see it relevant to be showing my weaknesses to people in the work place. The private life is private for a reason. Such would be just – showing weaknesses.”
I pulled my hand out, to touch the rain. Drops hit my palm violently, then the rain began calming down again – having a relaxing pace.
“Could I be…” – You spoke. – “Could I be the one to see your weaknesses?”
I felt a heart pang.
“Could I… Can I be the one you rely on, when you feel weak? Can I hold you, when you are that… Just you. Not a magnanimous working greatness, but a human you?” – You said.
I felt like time itself stopped. I turned to face you.
And the face you wore… The righteous dedication, the resolve you had, the seriousness of words and proposal – you were not joking. You were very much real.
I was speechless. I smiled and gave a nod.
“If that’s you… then I don’t mind.” – I felt the warmth, the blooming thing in my chest.
It were as if my being was torn to be bare in front of your eyes. In front of you. Like you said the words, knowing the consequences of my bare heart, before you’d known how it would be. And you accepted that with utmost resolve to be with it. To take it, to accept it all. To stay. To be a part of it. With it. With me. Your decision was not to just see me as I am, but see me through what I am.
And then – to show me how you are. Just as bare soul as one can be. But there’s now two of us. And without knowing much, you just asked me to stay with you.
“If I’d ask you to marry me… Would you?” – You looked in my eyes as you asked this part.
“Yes.” – I spoke softly, with a smile.